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| ...or something spelled like that.
This is like talking to God because either way no one will do anything.
Violence never solves anything. It's only a bad way to communicate our feelings. Really, violence never goes anywhere.
If you raise your child with anger, all your child will know is anger. Raise your child with violence and your child will know violence. It doesn't work. Your child gets used to the violence and once it does, you have no way of disciplining your child. He won't listen to you. He'll always talk back. He'll fight others to release stress. He'll end up killing himself.
Or at least that's what I see.
My world is so small.
I HATE YOU!
No not you but I'm screaming at someone.
No I don't hate you
But I hate what you're doing.
Again it's not you but someone.
ALL OF YOU LOVE YOUR MOTHERS. I think..........
LOVE YOUR FATHERS. I think..............
I love my mother and father very much. They are great. I'm so lucky to have this family. I love my grandma. I love my grandpa. I love my relatives. I love my friends.
I love my sister.
.
.
.
Yeah, I love her too.
.
.
When you worry about someone, you get anxious. When you get anxious you get angry. When you get angry, you turn to violence.......
At least my mom does.
But it's ok.
I know.
I understand.
This is tough.....
Usually in this situation, one turns to drugs.
I WILL NOT.
I don't know.
I WILL NOT.
Nah, I won't.
Besides, I have too many people I love and love me.
I have so many people that love me. I don't need God.
GO AWAY.
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| for the past few days, I've been woken up by phone calls... XD
I should make a time around midnight to just grab a chair, sit and look at the moon or the neighborhood. It's usually really quiet except for a few cars passing by.
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| haha
I just finished Wolf's Rain. Actually I skipped 3 episodes cause it was boring.
Why I bother writing in Xanga now?
I don't know just felt like it. I needed to record a dream.
I thought June 20th was a Wednesday... I'm referring to June 20th as June 20th because now it's June 21st.
haha.
Anyways,
Weird dream.
I was probably going to Manhattan for something. Probably the last day of school. I went by subway. I ended up at a place that looked like a street near Stuyvesant. I had a big box in my hands. I think it was supposed to be a good bye gift for a teacher. Mr. Joffe was walking and then I ran up beside him and said, "Hi Mr. Joffe. I have this present and I was supposed to give it to a teacher. Will you accept it?" He said, "Thanks but my kids already have enough toys. Ok, I got to run." He gave me his umbrella. I shouted after him, "What about your umbrella?" He told me I could keep it. It was a pretty good umbrella. It was big. And I liked big umbrellas. That meant staying dry. Then I walked around.
Not sure what happened afterwards.
End of school- pretty fun didn't seem like the same day school ended.
Ever since the end, everyday seemed like two different days. I can't keep track what happened in dreams and what happened in real life.
-_-
9th grade next year. I hope I'll be more organized.
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| Feeling so mundane.
Time is so short.
A quiet neighborhood under an orange sky. Not a sound except for the wind and the few passing cars.
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| I can't expect much from anyone, anything, and me.
I can't expect friends to know things I know. No one thinks exactly like I do. Sometimes, I don't understand how some people don't understand math problems. But then, I'm always asking George or someone to explain something to me.
I can't expect to see friends on the subway everyday. They get on a train earlier, and they make the transfer. I miss the transfer cause I'm on a later train. Or maybe I made the transfer, they also made it but they were in another car and I didn't see them until I saw them getting out of the train.
I can't expect myself to stop doing bad habits, like procrastinating.
I NEED TO STOP.
I NEED TO STOP THINKING.
I NEED TO WORK HARDER.
I WILL.
I WILL.
I WILL.
Maybe I'll make my Gregorian chant based on that.
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